The Rant Factory...

o levels ?

2006-11-20T22:35:00.001+08:00

ITS OVER MOTHAFUCKA !

HAHAHAHAHA

UN HUH...I SURVIVED MY O LEVELS...HAVE U ?

TIMES HAVE CHANGED...

MY BRAIN HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN SET ON VEGETITATE MODE !

HAHAHAHAHAHA

HMMMM U'LL HEAR ABT ALL MY WONDEFUL CAREFREE EXPLOITS MAYBE NEXT YEAR ?....I'M BUSY VEGITATING SHHH DONT DISTURB :p

-ASH-

TAG !!!!

hmmm times up !

2006-11-17T19:39:00.001+08:00

hahaaha

all the stuff i've been ranting abt ?...the o's ?

its here and ending !

hmmm times up !

2006-11-17T19:39:00.000+08:00

hahaaha

all the stuff i've been ranting abt ?...the o's ?

its here and ending !

the rare relaxed moment

2006-10-08T13:47:00.000+08:00

wow i'm blogging

hahahaha

i noe i noe a rare occasion

oh well...

my life right now revolves around my books

like waddafuck ?..yes yes...my time table goes smth like this on a normal day

720 to 12 40 school....then

12 40 to 200...the thirteenth floor time

2-6 study at school library

6-730 laxing makan shower

730-10 00 study

tt gives me like hmmm 11 and a half hour of studying...how cool !!!!...haha i think i'm turning into a freak i'm begginning to find solice in my books...probably coz it chases away the fear that i might end up a road sweeper...haiz what the o levels does to you

now to aid my progression to being a nerd i've done a couple of things

1.I've thrown out all my hipster jeans
2.bought a whole set of crocodiles and suspenders
3.i now wear thick thick specs
4.i have officially forgotten what ankle socks mean and noe i wear knee high socks
5.i wear checkered shirts from criss cross
6.last but not least...my new hair style is a centre parting !!!

wow i think i have reached the epitomy of coolness lah...(insert indian slang) wow i'm sooo coooolll..uh huh uh huh...

Dont you think ?

since

2006-09-25T02:25:00.000+08:00

since....since everyone is blogging abt the prom night...i shant blog about it till the hype is over...know so it wont be so normal lah..

but my prom was divided ionto 4 parts...

1.The date

2.The prom

3.The clubbing

4.The after clubbing

oh well...till next time...
yawn i'm going to sleep..

Nitez..
Ash...

hmmmm

2006-09-21T21:30:00.000+08:00

SEPTEMBER LOVER
Hella sexy, loves sex n makin luv, tends to be
SOOOOO hott!!Active and dynamic. Decisive and
haste but tends
to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.
Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and
caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have
many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional.
Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates
oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.
Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can
understand.you are a great match with some body
in july.
if you do not repost this in the next 5
mins. someone very close to you will become mad
at you in the next 8 days.

hehehehehe....no comment :p...

once in a blue baboon..cliche ?

2006-09-06T09:34:00.000+08:00

ok so i havent updated for ages but dont blame me blame my fingers....they got too lazy to type tthe blogger home adress

ok so whats been happening ?..hmmm dnt(design and technology)dealines past...almost over and done with...phew...tt one stress ah ...ok then what happened on monday ?..my borthday !..u twit i know u forgot..haha yeah i got presents and i had french dinner...why does blu cheese taste like coconut oil ??

so now i'm waiting to go to school to make my skimboard and have malay lessons before coming home for ss"tuition"...then i'm gonna play ball and have maths tuition after that..then i'll mugg science until te cows come home

wel since i'm here to write..i shall blog about my birthday...

-Presents-
1.mach 3 power(littlest brother)
2.wrist cuff(second bro)
3.SEINHEISSER HEADPHONES !(mom dad and two brothers)
4.Ankh pendant(mom and dad)
5.2x Ang Pow(aunty and maid)
6.to be aded

so far on that day i got that...oh btw feel free to add on to he list ah ?..hahaha
ok lah ok lah thick skin...
so it was a monday and i really had no party mood...sommore prelims soooo near
like wtf lah...so wow i'm 16 now !...sweet 16..what so sweet ah ...tastes the same to me...

so i went to school in the morning for a geog test which was not really a test and more of music apreciation session on sams handphone...aiyah we were talking cock the whole time lah..we didnt actually finish the papaer...and our first prelim papaer is guess*insert drumroll here*..yes geography..so we're fucked !..haha i love the finality of that word

*fast forward*then went dnt...made i pod holder...then go makan chicken rice..wih ribs shiokest ah !..lacqered pencil and sprayed ipod holder at home then bummed then got ready for diner !...ahhh lazy jot the dinner lah...soon soon next post !...haha

anywayz,till the moon turns purple
Ash

occasional.post...

2006-08-07T21:53:00.000+08:00

listening...chill out..
wondering...why am i doing this header ?

ok ok ok so yes i havent updated fer a long time....what can i say nth hapened ?..no no no no...lots of things happened...good..bad...neutral...but all not really worth blogging or the other too x rated for u all lah...

now methaphorically...if u were standing on a cliff...and just further on on a cloud is the person u hmmm say like ?...beneathe you is the deep abyss of depression...would you take the leap into his/her arms ?...or are you too scared to even walk to the edge ?...i would jump...hope for the best but jump anyway...ok lah call me foollish,daredevil,whatever,but does this oppturnity really present itself often..? go figure...go and anwser it urself...or go tag ur anwsers...jump or stay ?...

ok now back to the more literal world...o levels is drawing near...i havent studies...i'm so screwed...time to get down !!...woo hoo i love my chemistry book ...its soo cute...and check that body out,theres chapers to it..wow....hahaha..
i know i know i shouldnt be joking or blogging either but hey shit happens ?....

i'm relishing the time i extit secondary school...party more party..wow...studying modules ?....fugg like i study functions only and study hard then get a1 the fuck its dissappers into thin air...how wonderfull..haha wow...ok lah i dont think i've much else to say except someone just kena caught fer insulting a tchr on a blog so i gotta watch it..

now now what am i doing starting another paragraph ???...off too my books..

Till i get an a1 in maths...
Ciaoz...
Ash

Oh bleeding moon..

2006-07-22T16:49:00.000+08:00

As the moon bleeds I smile
Smiling at the fact a man can change his stars
Has anything ever been taboo?
No and nothing will ever be...

Under this bleeding moon I look into your eyes ...
I see that spark that I had so longed to see...
That spark of approval...that spark of passion
Finally I had brought u to these white sands that I had grown up upon...

The meaning of u standing here in my arms is tremendous...
It had been my childhood dream to sweep you off your feet here...
And now I crave your kiss...
It this just once and you're that close...

I crave your kiss...
Crave for your lips...
And finally mine brushes yours as I feel that I didn't want to feel...
You pull away and stare into my eyes with those eyes so full of disappointment...

How strong had you expected me to be?
Had you expected me to resist your sexual temptations and be a libidoless bastard?
No you knew, you damn well knew...
You hang your head and think to yourself...

"ihad never wanted to fall in love..."
But I just did... sorry for the play dear...
I love you...

Staring back into my eyes you move forwards and lock lips...
Euphoria ripped thru me..you love me..
You love me as your doormat..i know you do
But I’m never second place ...

I turn my back, and walk along these white sands...
You pull me back, urging me to stay,
"But i love you" you scream
I’m sure you do...i love you too..

"Stay!" you beg on your knees,
"Don’t do this to me", you plead...
Oh the deceit, one more from your library of tricks I suppose?
You bitch, I turn for the last time, and it tears me inside as I take the first step,

You grab my jeans for the last time, as tears flow down your cheeks,
"I’m sorry..."you plead
It’s too late for an apology now, you crossed the line...
I still love you but I suppose you will never love me back...

Use and abuse...isn’t that your principle?
Haven’t you told me that you will never love?
And yet I still believed there was a chance I could change that...
A chance that under that hard exterior there was this girl that I could love...

Sadly I was mistaken, as I always was about you,
This was the final straw, and you broke it...
Thank you for showing me your true self...
Thanks for nothing...

-Ash-

kk another poem...this took a week to finally complete..go tag ur views about it again...its like standard procedue lah...

performance !!

2006-07-13T19:41:00.000+08:00

haha my first "formal" performance..
go enjoy it...

haha yeah...go tag ur views !

room makeover..

2006-07-03T02:02:00.000+08:00

Dear dudes and dudettes...
havent u realised how funky my titles had been from the start ?..huh ?...now tt u havent,feel guilty and look back at the posts..
go go ..

ok so back on topic...my room makeover !!!...ok so my mood is spoiled...i wanted to blog like an hr ago and my dad asked me to sleep...so i had to leave fer an hr and my mood fouled up....so i dunno if this would come out right..

so back to my room !..woo hoo...yes yes i have ben bugging my old man to get me my desk and my new wardrobe...and after procrastinatinc fer say ?..4 years he finally got down to doing it...and it is KICK ASS...i got to decide my room colour...and from the start i wanted red..

RED=Boldness,Passion,vigour,Romance,Sensuality..

hmmm yeah al the characteristics...and the next new addition is my new red silk sheets !...sonunds hot too me..so well as usual the whole room red caused conroversey...the youngest bro fine in the morning with the coulour i chose but suddenly he came back from sch and then said...:I WANT PURPLE !"...like fug...purples gay...and a closet gay..ok if ur gay say i want pink ..at least ur honest..

so tt night we were like all debating on coulou when finally my old man and my mum(who was chamred by dhru)..decided on this line of couour tt stemmed by purple..it was called scarlet..in the yellowness of the light at 2 am we made a decision...so i went to sch the next day...and when i came back i was like fuck...it turned out hot pink in the sun...and purplish in the dark..i was like fuck noooo

i screamed and volleyed for my rights(colour)...and the painter was forced to go and paint again but this time what was the coulour...another debate..and we settled on red red..bright red...so the poor painter went to but the paint...*drum roll* he pryed open the tin...poof it came out pink pink...like wtf ?..baffling u know ?...how can red in the catalogue become pink ???...

i put my foot down...scolded he rest for being nuiscanses and chose my colour !..yes the ori colour..he went to buy it again and put it up...now finally after much bullshit..my room is finally red...but only one wall lah..the other 2 are cream...looks hot..real nice..

i will keep u[dating on the progress of the makeover which should be done latest thurs..

ok so yesterday !..i was prank called...but a girl and her group friends...i shall spare her the embarrassment and call her d...*ahem**u know who u are** it was the DUMBESSST..PRANK IN THE THINKING WORLD...we shall kindly exclude blondes...

i was walkin...couldnt fell nth..

then i stopped and felt my phone vibrate its last...

hmm a missed called..unregitered no..call back lah...

some girl picks up the phone..

"hi some called ?"

"yes yes my ashwin we have got ur pregnancy test results back"

fug....stupid anot ?i never knew i'm female ?...and wow sex change with a working womb ? spectacular...i'm sure trannys would rave abt it :P...
come one lah...i'm pregnant ?

so she goes on ranting stuff like u need to collect it NOW !...
zzzz...
and bear in mind..all this is admist a background of giggling girls...

then suddenyl change gostan the change prank...
"Mr kotteri ur wife is screaming for you and she is giving birth now !"..

wow i'm married ?HAHAHAHAHA...nice nice..
i must sayit was a spectacular attempt...ATTEMPT HARDER
looking forward to the next call...psst erase the giggling girls in the background..

omg...look its fine to prank...but think lah when u prank...saw smth like i dunno lah..later u steal my prank ideas...
so with the realisation tt ppl need to be thought how to prank i shall be starting prank classes...
yes yes i'm holding workshops on practical pranking-NO THEORATICAL BULLSHIT-...100% satisfaction guarenteed...
now till i start my next lesson i'm off..

Ciaoz !..
-Ash-

yes yes if u insist..

2006-07-01T02:32:00.000+08:00

ok ok...if u insist i will squeeze out a post..actually i have alot to write about but times making a fool out of me again..as usual ?...since when is time ever enough ???...

so i'm going to synopsis about the new posts i'm going to write..

1.FIRE
yes yes i'm going to document..to solve ur curiousity...on why i went into fire breathing/eating.spinning...etc etc...bear in mind dont try this at home...try it in ur friends place coz if u get burnt then at least ur mom wont scream at you when ur feeling all painful.

2.People.
some dont make sense...some are just plain weird..some i just dont like...
heres the secrets if getting into my good books and getting my bad books...
no no i'm not giving the secrets of the way to my heart...

3.Sailing..
why its soo interesting...whoy some people ake it like shit...why some jst dont wanna do it ...
eh btw today was my last session !....wooooohooo...i'm free of my commitment..

4.I dunno
yes a post on total randomness...and why my mind is soo blank at say ?...2.36 am ?...

oh well there are the more interesting posts that you can buy popocorn for and wait like an eager goose coz u'll...WAIT LONG LONG ARH !

ok lah but it'll come sooner or later...oh and btw my fire breathing performance vid would be up...its just a small clip so go watch..but all tt would have to wait till my room is painted and my desks are in...coz i'm geting a new look !...btw my rooms part red...yum...boldness...vibrancy and PASSION...yes yes...and my new res silk sheets re in next :P...haha i'm loking forward to it..

so lotsa shit happened to day ..like some bitchbeing herself..and stuff lah like some one getting locked out of the hse fer the night..oh well but to summ ut up ?...i'm LAAAAAZZZZZZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !...i love tt bone...its called my darling lazy bone...ur my baby u know ?

oh well...

ciaoz..

-Ash-

humanity..

2006-06-16T19:58:00.000+08:00

Alrighty folkks...a poem on Humanity...honestly i dunno how it sounds its really abstract..

Humanity...

Sitting here on this flimsy white hull I glance back to land...
Trees, grass, flowers all swaying in the wind…each micro ecosystems on its own...
The awe of the complicity of this world just dawned on me...
For in each of these micro systems there exist organisms…

Organisms which have a heart
A head…
They feel, hear move and are just as complicated...
Yet we neglect them and squash them,

Squash them like we do upon other humans...
Human’s tt get in the way of our cause…
A cause which is of no real importance,
A cause of materialistic nature...

Oh pour scorn on the cause
Yes go ahead. For it is a fact we all wish to forget
A fact tt all we are is superficial...
Superficial in nature, materialistic in thinking…

The many flaws in human has risen
And yet despite this we suppress it more...
We wish to forget it for we all think we’re perfect
But yet it doesn’t seem to work...

What if for once we embrace this opportunity…?
This oppoturnity to improve and better ourselves...
Bringing peace to the whole world…
Merging all discord into peace
Only then can humanity progress to a further extent...

But then again I sit here on this vast ocean...
I am a mere boy…
Nothing more but a fickle mind trying to make sense of the world…
For right now tt is all I will ever be...
__________________________________

and then theres khalis's version..
____________________________________

Sitting on this flimsy white hull
gazing back at the land
the flora and fauna looks so dull
each made by God's hands
they're organisms which have a heart
as complicated as we are
yet we taint our hands wif their blood
does that make us a God from the star?
Crush them
like we do upon other humans
Humans
that get in the way of our cause
a cause
wif no real importance
but instead
of materialist
of materialistic nature
What if we embrace this oppturnity?
to improve and better ourselves
bringing peace to all humanity
Only then can we further progress
But then again I sit here on this vast ocean
an ocean dats contiuousli dying
trying to make sense of all this notion
and i will keep trying
until i suceed
until i suceed

_______________________________

honestly i dont noe which sounds better....diff styles i suppose...i like both though...so u decide !..go tag

the post,,,

2006-06-12T17:12:00.000+08:00

listening...enrique iglesias..not in love..
wondering...i'm not in love..
feeling...not in love...

OKAY LISTEN UP =>first part=depressing,sad,mushy,,Second part=>light hearted....CHOOSE UR READ CAREFULLy

ok so a great time for a poem..i feel the inspiration coming on !..wooohooo

As i stare into your eyes i wonder..
i wonder about the limitless possibilities of you and me
i wonder about how you would feel in my arms...
coz i want you but you dont know...you would never know..

it hurts me when i see you holding someone elses hand..
it pains me when i dont say i love you when i want to..
coz i hope you see the spark in my eyes
but never did you and never will you...

blame it on the classes..
the classes which thought me how to act..
to forge faces and reactions..
Soon forgery turns into nature...

I become an animal tt has forgotten how to express love...
a animal which feels only on the inside but never showing it..
an animal full of strenght and grace on the exteriour...
but soft and weak on the inside...

It is fear...the fear.. of love..
for love leads to pain and nothing more..
pain...the pain which eats you from the inside..
pain which magnifies it self a hundred times from within
pain which i do now want to feel again..

As i sit drowning my sorrows in bottles of liquer
surrounding myself in a clund of smoke...
i wonder...what if i told you i love you ?
would you love me back ?...or would i be crushed again...
crushed like the millions of times that i have been...

For now i decide..
neither shall i tell you how much i love you..
nor shall i think of you again...
for it pains me too much to do so...

Now i shall paint my walls black...
and wait for tt special one to paint it red again...
for now u have run out of red paint...
and never again would you ever be able to buy more..

-Ash-

ooookkkkaayyyyyyyyy.....hahahaha tt was dspressing...eh divz ur the one who inspired tt poem...so go go pride urself with the fact..

hmmm now we shall talk about smth rather light hearted...the fact tt i cannot write !...ya

yes yes...i know i can speak and convey me ideas with no problem...but the thing is when i squeeze all that into words it becomes wrong..yes yes u get the wrong message and its borrrrring...eh come on is my blog boring ?...i can write right ?...but only informally...when u ask me to write essays it nvr comes out right...for english or malay ...right chickgu ?...(thing i spelled tt wrong :P)...thing is it becomes boring and dry and my expression becomes shit...

for example..i can say WHAT THE FUCK ?...and u ge the feeling of shock..but in an essay it would be...his jaw dropped in horror as he inhaled a breath of methane...?...come one what s the diff ?...i cant possibly write "WHAT THE ****"..hmmm dear teahcer goes...

"ASHWIN WHAT THE FUCK WERE U TRYING TO DO ???HUH HUH ???....FIRSTLY UR PUNCTUATIONS ARE WRONG AND SECONDLY WHAT THE HELL IS THE ASTERIKS..IF I WANNA WRITE FUCK WRITE FUCK U PUSS..."(exxagerations generoulsy added in)

yeah u get the idea...so noooo it would not be a good idea..

then when u speak u have tones ? dont you ?...no one speaks in monotone oh right except mr robinson...so how would i write tones in essay ?...
eg..
"where did john go ?"
"john went to the zoo"...its a perfect sentence but what if i meant it sacarstically..? do i write

"john went to the zoo"(raise voice by 10 db and add a generous sacarstic tone)

NOT POSSIBLE !...NO NO NO...

then what about pausing for dramatic effect ?..and sppeding up ur voice at exciting parts...

"and suddenly(slow down voice 2x)...JOHN (spped up voice by 4x..and shout name) burst thru the door "..ahhhhh disaster..CONSPERM !...

Aha now the mistery of why i cannot write is finally unravelled..yes yes u learn smth new everyday !...now now dont fret for change is near...and i will become a spectacular writer.. and soonu will only hear queens english on this blog with the superbest spelling in the world ah(heavy chinese accent)...yes yes...i will not compromise and will bombard you with the most powderfullest words aso ah !

till the cows come home..
Ash..

novelty...

2006-06-12T13:51:00.000+08:00

listening...michelle branch and santana...game of love
wondering...what should i do now ?
feeling...i wanna go out..

the noventy of this blog thingy has worn off...
so yes its become boring..
oh well i get bored very easily..
so ?..i think i'll leave it here for the once in a blue moon post....
Ash...

basketness...

2006-06-09T20:35:00.000+08:00

listening..nothing..
feeling...sweaty and sticky...
wondering...whadda fug ?

ahhh basket ah tom got flag day...then its in the middle of nowhere somemore..

joo chait complex !...

sounds fun...

fun fun fun....

fun fun fun fun fun..
nth else to write...

poof..
out...
ciao...

mood-les in moodtown..
whhat a mood...

Ash..

Study3...

2006-06-06T21:34:00.000+08:00

listening...going gone...black eyed peas..
feeling...nothing ?
wondering...i have to return the cds...

TIMES UP !...yes times up for play...
well now its time to work and work....

yes my schedule is going to be study..exercise...eat...work on my abs....
yes i'm going to max myself out..both physically and mentally...
painful but sacrifices have to be made...

I WANT THAT 6 PACK
I WANT TT O LEVEL CERT...

theres only one way out...WORK !

yes yes play comes later..

btw talking about play !...haha cheekys reopened...i'll go there after my o's !

My Wishlist...

2006-06-05T22:00:00.000+08:00

Listening...belly dancer..akon
wondering....hmmm...
feeling...full...

HAHA yes yes i;m feeling all mean and evil and going to publish my wish list :P...haha yes yes i want this stuff...**hint hint*...birthday is september 4...**Hint**

ok so here goes..

Realistic stuff...

Shirts from topman and new urban male...i need new clubbing attire..
Boss colonge...
A new bag...
Slip on soles...i just cnt find cheap ones...
A HOT new haircut :P...
My goatee to grow a bit thicker...
A new handphone..
Distortion pedal...
Kevlar wicking...
Pro juggling clubs...
Devil sticks..
Ahhh a bottle of JD

Ahh now the dreams...

A 30 footer yatch...named Kiara...

A bmw z4..black with red and black interior...

Bachelor pad pent house in bayshore over looking the sea....

A circle bed...

Bar...well stocked...

Dreams becomes reality...tts why i like to daydream soo much :P

2006-06-04T02:10:00.000+08:00

listening....soul bossa nova...quincy jones.
feeling...wow i'm fulfilled..
thinking...what time am i going to sleep ?

Hahaha so today wasnt really a day lah...i woke up at like 5.45 pm ?...yeah pig pig....well my parents are outta town..then my bro when for his yfc thingy...and my aunt and bro went for a movie...so i slept in...then i woke up at 3...but i figured u know half an hour wont hurt right ?...yeah half an hour ended up 2 hours plus plus...it went like this..

---The following conversation hapened in my head----
aiyah 3 o'clock...nvm can sleep a bit more...
zzzz..
zzz....z
.z...z...z...

z..z..z
.z..z
.z.z.zz.z..
.z..z.z.

then i woke up...
FUCK !..they sky's orange....aiyah--rshes to clock---
fuck lah its 545...
and i'm calling roshni a pig...
sigh what a role model...

-------------------------------------------------

then i stoned on the com..and stoned again....then i went down for dinner...eh can u imagine i actually didnt eat for one day..i didnt eat diiner the previous day....and i wasnt hungry...

then i went to lepak with afiq...wahh basket my luck is really rotten..
everywhere i went they dun wanna let the coco crunch go...then i waas so determined to get i actually asked someone to get it for me...so today i actually brought a bag along !...

BAg CONTENTS....
Ipod..
Ipod speakers.
Battery..
Gum
More gum
a drink
wallet
handphone
U dont to know the rest :P
************
***********
----------------------

so i finally got the stuff and i was briming with satisfaction...i never knew just getting coco crunch was so satiffying...so we cycled to the beach...my fav spot..damn tt spot is damn romantic lah...i'd bring anyone i;m dating there...its like the best...so we sat and i brought out my muziq set up...then blasted like jazz thru it....haha we were like a nuiscance ah...there was silence then suddely bang !...there was bossanova screaming thru the speakers(psst bossanova is actually soft u know ?)...but then the music was too romantic for just talking so we ended up lost in our worlds...so the music went to hip hop and more heads turned...haha it was damn funny...but well the ambience actually turned to clubbing ambience...haha so yeah it was gooood...but then u know what ?..my bottle of drink fell and broke !...fuck it was a glass bottle...rotten luck man

we sat and talked cock till say 1 30 ?..haha yeah then we went home...and someone actually waited up for me to come back..wah surprsise surprise..its not like the first time i'm up so late right ?well with tt i conclude a day full of "surprises "...yes yes i'm rushing thru this post...yes roshni i know u want to read this coz i included ur name earlier ?..haha its just a small bit dont get so excited lah...anywayz on tt line...HAPPY BIRTHDAY !...yes i didnt forget...well i hope u have a sweet sixteen...eh how come its called sweet ah ?...

PoemS !

2006-06-03T18:47:00.000+08:00

Yes with a sudden streak of inspiration i've coined up a couple of poems/verses/deep bullshit/etc...yes they're all original...i dunno how they sound so tag back !...i wanna know how they are..:P

The first one....i liked you
______________________________
I liked you
I know u know it...
I liked you...
Did u notice the past tense ?
I liked you...
I hoped you did too..

But now...
But now u toyed...
But now...
But now u played...
But now
But now u took me for granted...
But now...
But now where will I be when u turn around...
But now...
But now i'm gone

_______________________________

The second...I've learnt well
_______________________________

I want to forget you...
But I cant...
How can I forget the person who taught me so much ?
So much indeed...
You taught me how to be a bitch...
You did...
You taught me how to play...
I saw it live...
You taught me how to use people....
Hmm yes you did...
I've decided to be a good student...

I've seen evil...
I've heard evil...
I've spoken evil...
And I will do neither again...

For Now all u see of me...
Is the small of my back...
In the distance...
Far along the horizon...

For i will not turn back...
Never will I make a mistake twice...
For I do not wish to fall again...

__________________________

well this poems is in no relation to the last one post...unless of course u want it to be...

the real feeling post...

2006-06-03T15:09:00.000+08:00

listening...trying to find my way...lifehouse...
feeling...hmmm i dont kno...
wondering...to go movie or not to go movie...

well when i started this blog i wanted to keep feelings out of this...coz i thought it would expose too much...but well i think i'd have to back on tt...after all i'm only human.well now tt u know what tone this post is gonna be on...i came up with a poem while happily grafittying some stuff....

*dont expect it to be sooo good**
----------------------------------------------------
You held my hand and led me into the dark..
i followed i trusted you..
you embraced me with your soothing words...
i heeded i trusted you
u led me into your seething lair...
i followed i didnt know...
you left me hanging in a world unknown...
i trusted you..i thought i did..
but now,i'm a mess...
All thx to you...

-Ash-

--------------------------------------------------------

Now hows tt sound for a new poet ?...ceh poet eh ?
ok ok so on to the real stuf...
feelings feelings feelings...wow complicated eh ?...and yet they seem so simple...
but simple what i am happy or sad hungry or full...so easy what either this or tt...
haha right...but when this small thing called like comes into play...does it bloom to love ?...or would it seemingly migrate to the other route ?..hate..or maybe it would just sit in the middle and neither give u pleasure nor pain...well often it does sit in the middle..

so things start out great...u like her and she likes you..after all both of you are better looking than most...so you go out...have a spanking great time...and it ends great too...but u were werent urself...u were not smooth...u were stiff...she didnt turn around to look...u scold ur self for being mr slick...then u dont talk as much for the next week....but it comes back to you the following week...but going out never occurs somehow...did u fuck up the good bye ?..i think so...
u are let down...has you instincts failed you for the first time?
then amazingly u go out again !...nth great it just sending her somwhere...but it turns out great...ahh and this time u know u were good...eh ur instincts didnt fail you after all..u know she enjoyed it...but then u have ur major obstacle...ur exams...fuck u didnt study right bitch u tot ur intelligence was good enough...but no u fuck up ur exams..

and she knows it...she keeps away from you...is it for your good coz u need to concentrate...or hers coz she just simply wants to be away from you ...does she want to forget about you?...does she realise tt the more u are away the more u miss her...and ur missing had its limits and sometimes u end up forgetting about her altogether...u dont want to but it happens...u start thinking new girls are hot...start thinking that she is too distant for u to get to know her...start setting new targets... after all why waste too much on someone who thinks playing distant would increase attraction...it does but too much kills it...or is tt really her purpose...to take you in and throw u out like the cruel bitch she is...tt sadistic streak appers again...

u feel inadequate...after all she is older..more experience...who ask u go and play with the unknown dumb ass ?...u do not fear being inadequate...u fear being powerful beyond measure...after all...tts what u do u are a sports man...but what has it got to do with sports ?...u have started ffeeling...and you know u dont feel easily...ur hard and cold outside...but too warm and soft inside...u dont open up easily...but when u do u know to be careful...u were about to but u thought again...can a girl really stop seeing you because she loves you and she doesnt want to fall in love...can she be so cold so hard ?...she can and she did u know it...but is it happening to you now ?...
ok continuation...

well the love part is crap....btw babe if u read this i dont think there is a need for it to be kept under wraps..

so u finally find out the truth...poof all that weeks of misery..dissappears into something...something i dont know...better or worse ?...its all sums up..u dont really care if she goes out with a thousand guys...but the fact tt she kept it all hidden from you isnt the value of honesty supposed to be an importnt one in in basic friendship.... right with tt i suppose u'll look at her the same way ?...with trust ?...u gave her trust..u trusted her in knowing tt u couldnt pay enough attention to her because you had other commitments to attend to...you trusted her coz u thought she was mature...u over estimated her maturity...u know it...but then again u learnt to never underestimate....but now..u learn not to overestimate...

i feel it,i liked you...you do this to me...i'm dissappointed...i'm hurt..
now this set me wondering...
what do i mean to you ?...a stepping stone ?
sorry babe but if u place me tt low...cant be bothered to return calls...cant be bothered to reply sms..then sould i be bothered about you ?
but after saying all this...i want you to know...
i havent even started getting to know you...but the thing is u've taken me for granted...and i dont like it....its now in ur hands...u deal the cards...the ball is in your court...

the supposed to be feeling post...

2006-06-02T13:30:00.000+08:00

listening...chillout..gotan project...epoca..
feeling...such an unlucky day...
wonderin...got homework anot ?

ahhh so to start of today...today was a shitty day ! yay !...rights so first period kena scolding already..."ashwin pay atttn !"..."ashwin stop talking"..."yest also talk then today also wanna talk "..wah basket...get it right lah yesterday i was sleeping woman ! and right under your nose...then suddnly when i was totally dreaming...she ask "so ashwin whats the resut when u crush the thigy to become powdered thingy..."

"ahhh...ahhh..hmmmm (then i got a briliant spark)..THE GRAPH BECOMES STRAIGHT !"...

the whole class went silent...fuck lah wrong ans...damn cannot hide..."ahhh ashwin since ur so sure would you like to draw it for us ?"..

sure biatch..."no"...then she gave tt look..

so i walked up when somebody behind me whispered..."oi its increasing steepness lah"....so like a fool...i went to draw it with increasing steepness...and there was this second of silence...then she went..."i tot u said straight line"...i didnt ans lah...although i wanted to say..."u thought"...well ok lah maybe she was just doing her job..i cant blame her...eh but dont blame me either someone had to bring up the topic of "what goes best with vodka ?"...so bang the day flew off to a spectacular start in a fashion which was less then desirable...(shirley koh ask me to use more vocab :P)..

next period english went not too bad and just ended ended in me having to owe her aother essay...tts two in total...then e maths..ahhh now e maths..haha i understand !...rotation transformation...finally some sense..not like vectorial bull chiken cow=emc2...eh but in my paper filled..paper brimmming bag i had somehow lost my notes...haha my bag so small can lose notes...so whole lesson shared then the last minute...literally...i amazingly pulled out my notes...bloody waste time

after sonia yeos lecture abt sentence structure...which i might add was mightly boring and heavily influenced by the weirrdest accent ever...went to eat pizza with couple of mates...then come back late for dnt kena screwed...then the fucking solder got problem today...try and solder the board...then the stupid thing wont melt..then push and push then suddenly melt in mass ,flodding the circuit(i took the liberty to exaggerate) board wih solder...but its not smooth its lumpy2...

ok lah so balik lpas tu..then stone and stone...then went to go lepak...went to buy some coco crunch...but the woman dun wanna lepas...wahhh this hasnt happend to me in like 6 mths...frustrated i went out...to see some old man standing against the ice box who started talking to me and advising me not to smoke and drink later become like him...wahh out of point..i just wanted to buy coco crunch...feeling my drift ?...so kena lecture already...went off to golden bamboo...but dun have the good coco crunch ! basket...all old old one...as i walked out i saw afiq on the phone ..now his turn to kena lecture pula...haha for no apparent reason just cuz he left the house..so he had to go and i scraped the lepak plans ah..

all in all it was the day !...yes the best day of my life :))))...right...

ciao..

brain sprain...

2006-05-31T21:35:00.000+08:00

listening...jazz !...jamie cullum mind trick...
feeling..full
wondering...eh how come i;m so fulll ah ?

haiz..
as u know i didnt do well in my mye's so yes me and bunch of ppl kena called up to stay till 5 everyday for the next 2 weeks..sigh seriously i dont mind...i need some discipline in my life..but thing is i had tuition today...s by the time i reached back was 7...he caame at 7 20...basket...brain also not working...start at some simple a maths question an i start dreamin about what i'm going to do tom...brain sprain ...hows tt sound ...

wahh today never even go out of the house to exercise...i feel damn piggish....eat eat eat then never burn...then i;ve still got homework..to do ...chem and english essay by tommorow..and look at the timw...2133..by the time i;m done it'll probably like 24 00 ?...at best...so i'll have to slog thru tt after this blog entry...yes .

aiyah now i picked up some of my bad habits again...like going "belakang" before going home...shit lah and i wanted to stop...well tom going deckking...some more "role model" values are going to be instilled in me...ahhh i seriously need to get out of the house...

ok time to sign off yet another post...eh not bad ah 4 posts already...haha//..

Ciao...

sidenote...wat do you really mean to me?...but then again what do i really mean to you ?...

the short short one..

2006-05-30T00:53:00.000+08:00

yes a short short post...
today was the same...i woke up at 2.45
half the day wasted..
then go do work...and more work..
and my parents are out of town !...
haha yeah they went fer hols...dubai and cairo..
exotic...

wonder what mischief theyll be up to...so i'll get 6 or seven days of liberty...hmmm i wanna go mos !...and maybe zouk..damn i miss it...or maybe i'll be a good boy..and stay put...but the latter sucks....

so i'm off to dream about my coming truncated timetable...wahh everyday till 5...ii'm gonna come home shagged...

ciaoz...

and poof...out comes a second post...

2006-05-29T16:07:00.000+08:00

Listening...Never gonna get it(take the lead)
feeling...sleepy
wondering...what time should i get up today ?
well second post...
hmmmm what should i blog about today ?
my life ?...yes..
ok so today was nth special...
i woke up waiting fer my tuition teacher who was suposed to come at 11....but somehow he never arrived...and i waited and i waited until my smart bro woke up to tell me tt tchr had cancelled tutiton today coz he was in m'sia...well done dick i waited fer like and hr and a half doing nth...literally..

well i tried to get some work done today but the thing is there was really no mood...yeah i can sit at the table for like half an hour starring at the book and soon i'll find myself plugged into my ipod and listening to muziq tt reminds me of clubbing and soon i'll drift off t dreamland...btw i wnna lear the salsa teach me ?...i mean lok at me i'm having all the wrong impulses at the wrong times i wanna learn the salsa when i should be learning some cheem a maths formula...and this isnt exactly the only example..

yes and after these failed attempts...my dad said i was going out with my mom friends daughters from india...they hapily organised the trip coz she wanted to buy blades w/o my knowing...yes i was surprised...so after the standard procrastinating oh wait u dont know the std procrastinating do you ?

--Excerpt--

Mom: GET READY ! WE'RE LEAVING NOW !

Me:ya ya kk...
(i get ready and all ready to go out)

Ma:OI QUCKLY WE'RE LEAVING NOW

ME:Where u ?i at the car...
no ans,....2 min later..no ans..

so i take of my shoes and go in...
and u know what horrific finding i discover ?...
i find out tt my mom just started having lunch...

Me: em ma i tot we're leaving

Ma :We are ! go get ready !

---end---

So yes this repeats itself everytime we go out literally lah..
And fially we get going...when my mom harps abt my results and i plug up into my music again...u know some beter noise ?...and skipping thru time we get to the shop get the blades and....ahhh stopped at temptations...**yum**...so we..i ate a blubery cheesecake..it was super shiok...serious...

then the girls came over to blade...and yes i was inspired to put my pair on again and i actually found out i could blade...yes i can blade and i fell 4 times...on my arse an my knee on my hands...sigh i think i rolled more then i bladed but hey i did blade...

haha then my aunt came over..shes like the caring anxious one in the family...so what a better surprise than to show her my fire eating...haha i should have taped the expressions on their faces...their faces were like dunno...i dont have any word to describe it...then i had to take a step further...so i asked her to hold the torch..she panicked and her body went rigid...haha it was soo funy from my point of view...but i can imagine how sacred someone else who cares for you would feel...

well with tt my day closes with me sitting on my bed signing off this post for all u niggas and hoes to read...Ciao...but before tt...more improvements !

IMPROVEMENTS : hmmm more links/a song in my blog !/i need to remove tt blogger bar on top ! ahhh but how ?

Ciaoz...

The factory...

2006-05-28T05:20:00.000+08:00

Listening...Thievery corp,lebanese blonde
Feeling...Muddled up
Wondering...When will the rain stop...i wanna go running

A new BLOG !...wow...somthing i thought i'll never start...well well..i think i thought wrong...eh ur weird !..u start a blog in sec 4?(divz)...thanx arh babe..

so on to my life today...i woke up at 2..in the afternoon...yes///..i know i'm a pig...then i ate and plonked my ass on this chair and started this blog...and after this i'm going to do work...yes pour all the scorn u want on it...but i am..

i wanna do alot of things...like party hard...play hard...take endless strolls along the beach..watch sunsets...but thing is i've got my o's and i've been slacking like a bitch fo the past four years..its time to buck up ...like really buck up...

so yesterdays sailing was a complete waste of time...mel lost her daggerboard..and it costs $$$320...so shes gotta come out with tt kinda money..its alot..but the uncle at the shack said he could help us out lah probably tip him 20 bucks or smth...indirect bribery..or lets call it...mutual respect ?..so we sat around the whole fucking 5 hrs wondering how to get the money..wate time only...but hey !..i've only got 8 days of sailing left for the school...after tt my obligation is over...an obligation somtimes i wish i never had...

The i came back and went for a jog with my dad...bloody hell he could keep up !...i'm super shocked ah...for 4 km he paced me all the way...and i was running after 2 weeks of training...damn hes good lah...well i suppose i'm just a chip of the old block right ?...i think he'll lay me flat if he trains harder...then came back and washed up..had dinner at 10...and brushed up on my card magic before going to sleep at 4 am..yes yes...psycho

But do you find something missing ?...my work ?..i didnt even touch a book yesterday..i'm pissed at myself..after all tt shit on parents day and it still hadnt gotten thru my head ?...why...i know i should be working but i dont feel it ?damn whats wrong with me ?...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...well i'm out..

Ciao...